Mets offensive credits mysterious new hire, Donnie Stevenson
By Tim Boyle
There was a light at the end of the tunnel for the New York Mets in Saturday’s win against the Philadelphia Phillies. Four runs in the first inning showed that this team can indeed hit. While they were only able to muster another run later on with a ninth inning home run from Michael Conforto, we did learn the source of this most recent success.
It wasn’t a talk with Chili Davis or some extra batting practice. Nope. According to several players after the game, credit goes to a mysterious new hire, Donnie Stevenson.
Who is this new Mets employee, Donnie Stevenson?
Everyone wants to know who Donnie Stevenson is. Is this some kind of hitting guru with plans to take over a small Oregon town? Have the Mets hired a franchise savior who will ensure they are never shut out again even if it sends the souls of the players somewhere they wouldn’t want to go?
The answer to all of these questions is, absolutely yes!
Donnie Stevenson is, as many people have speculated, nothing more than an inside joke with the players. He is more myth than man—kind of like Jed Lowrie on the 2019-2020 team.
It’s fairly obvious this helpful coach isn’t an actual guy. Nonetheless, it’s nice to see the Mets win a ballgame and come together to bow down at the feet of someone who probably isn’t even real.
Donnie Stevenson was born out of the Dominic Smith yelling match the night before
Spitballing here, I think Donnie Stevenson was born from Dominic Smith’s tirade the night before against Jose Alvarado. Is it a coincidence that Smith and Stevenson share initials? Perhaps Stevenson is Smith’s alter-ego.
I’m sure we’ll learn more about Stevenson as the season moves on and whether or not he’ll have a lasting impact. We’ll know he’s definitely real (at least in the mind of Mets fans) once Steve Cohen confirms it.
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I have no doubt, if this Donnie Stevenson character continues to make appearances in press conferences, a Cohen tweet of admiration is on the way.