Mets: Three current players we wish we returned on Boxing Day

Does anyone know where we can find the receipt for these New York Mets players?

Every American kid grew up seeing Boxing Day on the calendar on December 26th. We never knew what it really was until Al Gore made his invention, the internet, available. It’s a day when bad Christmas gifts are returned or exchanged. Too bad the New York Mets don’t celebrate.

The current Mets roster has plenty of talented and beloved players. From the youngsters to the newcomers to those in their prime, it’s flush with favorites.

However, like the stale banana bread my grandmother gave me when I was eight, there are a few “gifts” on the Mets we wish we could box up and return. Do we have a drawer somewhere with the receipt?

Robinson Cano is the puppy that won’t behave

Did you ever get a pet for Christmas? My family wouldn’t have dreamed of it. It takes a lot of work to put in the love, effort, and care for a living thing. Making it tougher is the fact that some young animals just don’t listen.

Robinson Cano is anything but young and I can say this because he is one of the few Mets older than I am. However, he does have something in common with puppies: he just won’t listen.

Cano is the expensive Goldendoodle that runs around the house and destroys the other presents. He damages Jeff McNeil’s progress at second base and empties your wallet enough to where the old owners use him as an excuse as to why you can’t get another shiny new toy.

Cano’s suspension for the entire 2021 season might be good news for the Mets in terms of wins and losses. Still, it’s an embarrassment how one athlete can be so out-of-control and arrogant to think he could get away with cheating again.

Is it too late to put him up for adoption? Surely, there’s a good home out there for him somewhere.

Jeurys Familia is the outdated videogame system that was hot three years ago

When Jeurys Familia returned to the Mets after the 2018 season, the plan was to have him work as a setup man for Edwin Diaz. We all know how bad that turned out. Like an outdated videogame system, he just kind of sat there in the bullpen collecting dust.

Familia was great for the Mets earlier on in his career. As the closer in 2015 and 2016, there were few better than him throughout the game.

Somewhere along the way, Familia seemed to age quickly, lose his confidence, and become nothing more than a videogame system with one awesome game.

Many years ago, I remember getting the first Playstation because I knew I could play Resident Evil on it. My babysitter’s kids had the game but they never let me play because they were older and that’s what preteens do.

Fast-forward a few Christmases and I did get the Playstation and the Resident Evil game. I was terrible at it. To make matters worse, Playstation 2 had already come out and Sony was focused on making new and exciting games for that platform—not the outdated one I would play in my bedroom.

The Mets might be hoping Familia has some GoldenEye or Mario Kart in him. To this day, people still play the Nintendo 64 for the sake of getting a dose of those two classics.

I don’t see Familia this way. He reminds me more of the original Resident Evil with the poor graphics by today’s standards. And much like the characters in that first Resident Evil, sometimes when Familia is on the mound, it looks like he’s running into walls.