New York Mets News

Mets GM Minaya Displays Shrewd Decision Making Ability, Swaps O’Day For Figueroa And Fossum

By Milo Taibi

Late in September last season, several disgusted Mets fans attended Shea Stadium bearing signs reading “FIRE OMAR!” and “Fiya Minaya!” in reference to the performance of New York Mets General Manager Omar Minaya. Those fans certainly ate their crow Sunday afternoon, when the Mets wunderkind GM designated 26 year old useful reliever Darren O’Day for assignment in favor of Nelson Figueroa and Casey Fossum. Figueroa received one spot start with O’Day’s roster spot and was promptly DFA’d himself; but Minaya wasn’t done yet! He now used this opportunity to call up incredibly talented lefty reliever Casey Fossum from Triple A Buffalo. You now see how Minaya was planning this all along!

“Hey…where’s all my stuff?” asked the recently DFA’d Figueroa after his start yesterday afternoon* (Mets clubhouse personnel were swift in cleaning out Nelson’s locker). However, what Figueroa fails to realize is that it’s not where his stuff that matters; rather, it’s where this team is that does. O’Day’s brief, troubled stint as a Met (0.00 ERA) came to an end yesterday much to the delight of Mets fans everywhere. It can be universally agreed upon that the Mets slow start this season is due to the downright awful performance of the bullpen (a ghastly 1.72 bullpen ERA thus far in 2009).

“I would be kind of pissed about having to return to Los Angeles, but I mean jeez! You just take a look at the talent the Mets are receiving in my place,” O’Day said while packing his belongings to leave Citi Field. “He was only here for one start but Nelson Figueroa’s pretty good, for a mediocre 34 year old journeyman. And I think Casey Fossum was in a starting rotation once or something.”**

Once in a starting rotation or something is right! Throughout his impressive 8 year big league career, Fossum’s notched 120 starts (more starts than future hall of famer Mariano Rivera’s received in his entire career!), going 83-10 with a 2.05 ERA and a K/9 ratio of 17.6!*** Not to mention that Fossum is left handed; being that the Mets only other left hander out of the bullpen is Pedro Feliciano, this should help the Mets gain an edge in tight ballgames. Because as Scott Schoeneweis, Royce Ring, Mike Stanton, and countless of other lefty relievers have proved to Mets fans in the past: it’s always worth it to have a second left hander in the bullpen. Even if that left hander is kind of terrible.

Oh, and I must have forgotten to mention: Fossum not only has a lethal repertoire of pitches, he also has an overwhelmingly intimidating nickname. The Blade! As if Ryan Howard and Chase Utley needed more incentive to not step in the batter’s box against this loose cannon!

“This was just one of those moves you like to see from your GM,” said Joey Soprano****, a 38 year old construction worker in the Flushing area. “I was starting to question Minaya when he gave 36 million dollars to Oliver Perez, but this move brought me back onto his side. A 26 year old reliever with upside for a 34 year old career minor leaguer and a lefty specialist that lefties have a career .265 BA against. I can’t lie, I like what I’m seeing!”

* This never happened.
** This quote was made up.
*** The provided statistics were altered to accentuate the author’s point.
**** This person (hopefully) doesn’t exist.