Today’s category: Top Ten Things Going Through Kevin Burkhardt’s Mind at This Moment

June 8, 2012; Bronx, NY, USA; SNY field reporter Kevin Burkhardt smiles before the game between the New York Mets and the New York Yankees at Yankee Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Debby Wong-USA TODAY Sports

There was an interesting moment before yesterday’s 4-3 Mets victory over the Cubs: during one of Kevin Burkhardt’s pre-game segments, he received an unexpected visit from Daniel Murphy in his shot. (You can click here for Meriwyn Travisano’s screenshot of the awkward situation.) The professional he is, Kevin kept up with the segment without giving notice to the Mets’ non-shy second baseman. Veronica Corningstone would be proud.

Top Ten Things Going Through Kevin Burkhardt’s Mind at This Moment

10. If I keep talking long enough I’m sure to remember this guy’s name.

9. Murph’s got a uniform…how come I don’t get a uniform?

8. Think anyone will notice that this is just a cardboard cutout of Daniel Murphy?

7. Don’t they give out breath mints at the Billy Goat Tavern?

6. Now that I see it, Murph’s beard does give him a look of quiet dignity.

5. Where’d I put that “W” for “WPIX”?

4. My dad forced me to become a sports announcer…I wanted to be a modern dancer!

3. What would Lindsay Nelson do?

2. Arghhh, there’s a big ball of fire in the sky!!! Oh wait, it’s a day game.

1. No Murph, we have to wait till after you win the game to do the interview.

If you were in KB’s shoes, what would you be thinking? The comments section is yours.

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Tonight’s category: Top Ten Things Overheard During Rick Ankiel’s First Day with the Mets

Apr 22, 2013; Houston, TX, USA; Houston Astros right fielder Rick Ankiel (28) hits a home run during the seventh inning against the Seattle Mariners at Minute Maid Park. Mandatory Credit: Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports

Stuff can happen very fast in the major leagues: late this afternoon, it was reported the Mets had signed Astros castoff Rick Ankiel to a major-league deal, and tonight he was batting seventh and starting in center field. A St. Lucie native, Ankiel asked to be issued #16 in honor of his boyhood idol, Dwight Gooden. After being stricken with, and never recovering from, “Steve Blass Syndrome” in Game 1 of the 2000 NLCS when (coincidentally) his Cardinals took on the Mets, Ankiel returned to the Cardinals as an outfielder in the summer of 2007. At age 33, his career is sloping downward, but he is apparently better than any other outfielder the Mets currently have on roster. And they say we don’t have money to spend.

Top Ten Things Overheard During Rick Ankiel’s First Day with the Mets

10. I said medicine for Rick’s ankle!

9. Guess I’d better introduce myself to the old new kid, Brown…wait, what?

8. Can you catch too?

7. What other Astros castoffs we can pick up?

6. Cheer up, everybody: we just signed the greatest pitching-hitting combination since Babe Ruth!

5. (Incoherent laughter)

4. So Rick, we really need pitchers – got that control problem licked yet?

3. Hey guys, you think Ted will meet the Mother tonight?

2. I’m just hoping to help the ball club…You gotta play it one day at a time…Oh, hell, I’m just happy to have a job!

1. Meh, he’s still better than Jason Bay.

Were you at Busch Stadium tonight, and did you overhear something even more outrageous? The comments section is yours.

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Today’s category: Top Ten New Additions to Marlins Park

Apr 26, 2013; Miami, FL, USA; Chicago Cubs first baseman Anthony Rizzo (44) rounds the bases after hitting a two run home run in the third inning against the Miami Marlins at Marlins Park. The Cubs won 4-2. Mandatory Credit: Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports

The Mets are in Miami the early part of this week, and of course we all know how the Marlins dismantled their high-priced last-place team of a year ago in exchange for this year’s sensibly-priced last-place team. Now this is very interesting: with all the money he saved on a baseball team this season, Miami czar Jeffrey Loria was able to install a plethora of new features for his expensive new ballpark, guaranteeing that the nine people who actually come to Marlins Park will have plenty of things to do to distract them from the very reason they came to the ballpark. They’ve got a funny way of doing things down in Miami, don’t they?

Top Ten New Additions to Marlins Park

10. Display case with Jose Reyes’s dreadlocks

9. A focus group to find other retractable things

8. A second nightclub – “The Poughkeepsier”

7. The whole thing is a nightclub now

6. Better baseball games, such as the higher quality Florida State League

5. Free onion rings for everyone!

4. Secret breading fees on everyone’s free onion rings

3. A kitschy sculpture that activates with every single

2. Every 4^th inning the scoreboard flashes a new apology to Giancarlo Stanton

1. Strippers for the foul poles – Welcome to Miami!

Been to Marlins Park lately and have even more features to report? The comment section is yours.

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