Ladies and gentlemen, here is today’s Top Ten list!
Today’s category: Top Ten Excessive David Wright All-Star Campaigns
Anyone who’s followed the Mets in the last month knows they want David Wright to start the Citi Field All-Star Game at third base. I mean, they really want him to start, so much so that they reached out to dating website CougarLife.com in hopes that they would #VoteWrightNow. After that news got out, Wright himself asked Mets brass to tone down their campaign rhetoric. In lieu of David’s request, the organization will unfortunately not get to utilize these additional ideas to get him into the starting lineup. Even Jim Messina would have been proud of these ten “Rock the Vote” efforts.
Top Ten Excessive David Wright All-Star Campaigns
10. Subway panhandlers asking to “spare some votes?”
9. Every Wright vote gets you “access” to Mr. Met
8. Move him to right field for the new slogan “Write in Wright in Right”
7. Attack ads accusing Pablo Sandoval of not being a natural-born third baseman
6. Hire Tanya Harding’s bodyguard to bean the competition in the shins (still a reference, people)
5. All-expenses paid trips to watch the Mets in Las Vegas
4. Autographed baseballs from all living Mets third basemen (requires 4-6 weeks to ship in a U-Haul)
3. Vote 100+ times, chuck a free Klondike bar at Jeff Wilpon’s car
2. Guest appearance on Saturday Night Live – they’ve got plenty of openings during the summer!
1. Four words: Vice Fielder Sarah Palin
What else would you have done if you were in charge of getting people to #VoteWrightNow? The comments section is yours.