Ladies and gentlemen, here is tonight’s Top Ten list!
Tonight’s category: Top Ten Things Overheard During Rick Ankiel’s First Day with the Mets
Stuff can happen very fast in the major leagues: late this afternoon, it was reported the Mets had signed Astros castoff Rick Ankiel to a major-league deal, and tonight he was batting seventh and starting in center field. A St. Lucie native, Ankiel asked to be issued #16 in honor of his boyhood idol, Dwight Gooden. After being stricken with, and never recovering from, “Steve Blass Syndrome” in Game 1 of the 2000 NLCS when (coincidentally) his Cardinals took on the Mets, Ankiel returned to the Cardinals as an outfielder in the summer of 2007. At age 33, his career is sloping downward, but he is apparently better than any other outfielder the Mets currently have on roster. And they say we don’t have money to spend.
Top Ten Things Overheard During Rick Ankiel’s First Day with the Mets
10. I said medicine for Rick’s ankle!
9. Guess I’d better introduce myself to the old new kid, Brown…wait, what?
8. Can you catch too?
7. What other Astros castoffs we can pick up?
6. Cheer up, everybody: we just signed the greatest pitching-hitting combination since Babe Ruth!
5. (Incoherent laughter)
4. So Rick, we really need pitchers – got that control problem licked yet?
3. Hey guys, you think Ted will meet the Mother tonight?
2. I’m just hoping to help the ball club…You gotta play it one day at a time…Oh, hell, I’m just happy to have a job!
1. Meh, he’s still better than Jason Bay.
Were you at Busch Stadium tonight, and did you overhear something even more outrageous? The comments section is yours.