Rising Apple Top Ten: Don’t Think of It as Dead Arm…

Ladies and gentlemen, here is this week’s Top Ten list!

This Week’s Category: Top Ten Other Names for Dead Arm

Feb 15, 2013; Port St. Lucie, FL, USA; New York Mets pitcher Johan Santana throws a pitch during spring training at Legends Field. Mandatory Credit: John Munson/THE STAR-LEDGER via USA TODAY Sports

There’s been a lot of talk about Johan Santana in the last few weeks. He wasn’t in any sort of pitching shape when Spring Training started, and now it appears likely he will start the season back on the disabled list. You could say what Santana has is a bad case of dead arm. He’s not the first pitcher to have a bout with it, and he won’t be the last, but no one likes to hear that term tossed around. Here now, we’ve compiled a list of ten other medically-approved terms to replace “Dead Arm;” these get the point across just fine but are far less threatening. So here we go:

Top Ten Other Names for Dead Arm

10. Limpy appendage

9. Shoulder noodle

8. Armed and not-so-dangerous

7. Ster-anti-oids

6. Volkswagen Dad Syndrome

5. Arm-bivalent

4. (John) Maine Street Tumbleweed

3. Arm-nesia

2. New York Jets quarterback

1. Call R.A. for knuckleball advice

Think you’ve got any better names, or even our next topic? Post it in the comments section. Maybe you’ll see your name next week on the Rising Apple Top Ten.

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