Tonight is the MLB All Star Game, and I for one could not be more excited. Once the clock strike 8 pm, I will be sitting on my couch, eyes glued to my television as the American League and National League battle it out for supremacy as well as homefield advantage in the World Series. But wait, it doesn’t seem like the rest of the country shares my enthusiasm for the star-studded spectacular. In fact, last year’s Mid-Summer Classic drew its lowest television ratings ever. How could this be?
Aren’t there 1,000 all stars this year, which no doubt means that the caliber of players this season is higher than in past years? Doesn’t everyone feel the excitement in the air as the players line up to defend their league? Clearly, something is amiss; somehow, the game could still further be improved. With that, here are five ways in which this annual extravaganza could be improved.
Have Only The Injured Players Participate: How many players have pulled out with injuries? Enough for each league to field a starting nine plus some reserves, perhaps? It might be interesting to watch Alex Rodriguez attempt to hit after having surgery and Shane Victorino attempt to field. Hey, the fans love gutsy performances. Guys who pitched this past Sunday are still excused
Have An All Star Video Game: Instead of actually selecting players, instead Ron Washington and Bruce Bochy will simply play MLB 2011: The Show. That guy from the commercials will officiate any disputes between the two skippers while encouraging a healthy, but tasteful amount of trash talk. It will be interesting to see if virtual Derek Jeter declines the invitation to play.
Have An Owners All Star Game: Time for the owners to prove their mettle. Imagine Fred Wilpon playing third base (he’s a superstar), Hank Steinbrenner as the designated hitter (would he have it any other way?) and Nolan Ryan on the mound. Hopefully everyone will pass a drug test before.
Have The Losing League Members Shave Their Heads: In the great tradition of hair vs. hair matches from professional wrestling, the players from whichever league loses will have to shave their heads, including the ones who didn’t participate in the game-that should make guys more eager to play. Doing the honors will be none other than Hugo “Juice” Tandron, the Florida Marlins barber who is very popular among his clients. Brian Wilson will be required to shave his beard instead of his head.
Have The Teams Play Football Instead: There is increased optimism that the NFL will have a season this year, but so far nothing is guaranteed. So in the meantime, why not have the MLB All Stars play a game of tackle football? Didn’t Todd Helton used to be a quarterback? He’s not on the roster but adding one more guy couldn’t hurt. Might as well add Kyle Farnsworth too because of his tackling ability (incidentally, he’s also having a pretty good year). We’ll see how soft Carlos Beltran is when he’s taking down Roy Halladay.
Topics: 2011 All Star Game, Al All Stars, All Star Game, All Star Game On Fox, All Star Injuries, All Star Reserves, All Star Starters, Amazins, American League, American League All Stars, Ben Berkon, Carlos Beltran, David Wright, Derek Jeter, Jose Reyes, Matt Kaufman, Mets, MLB All Star Game, National League, National League All Stars, New York, New York Mets, Nfl, Nfl Lockout, Nl All Stars, Rising Apple, Todd Helton