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Series Six Pack: Words from Across the Aisle

The Phils are back in town, which means I’ve been forced into a corner to answer questions from Justin Klugh, the lead blogger of That Balls Outta Here. Below are several questions I asked him, and his somewhat helpful, but mostly perverted responses.

1. How much will you miss Joe Blanton?
I don’t know who this person is. Does he work in the front office? Just put a patch with his initials on our uniform and let’s move on.

2. Jose Contreras just came off the DL, though it shouldn’t have an affect on Madison’s grasp on the closer job. The real question is, why did Contreras ever have the gig over Madson?
You know, I don’t know? You assume Charlie knows what he’s doing, but sometimes he seems to take the contrarian point of view just to keep people guessing. I mean, sure, it would have made sense to use the young, fireballing, lights out shut-out man to fill in or possible become the closer because he’s been groomed for the role. But hey, let’s try this other guy. Because he’s here too.

3. Raul Ibanez has posted a .333/.352/.583 line with 4 HR, 12 RBI, and 14 R in May. Do you buy it?
I will rent it for the month that it occurs, then return it when a month is up, and then I’ll come back for it when another month goes by and he gets hot again. I tried to stay true to your metaphor. Did it work? I feel like it didn’t.

4. How much less playing time will Ben Francisco receive now that Domonic Brown is up (and Ibanez is playing well)?
Well, Charlie is much more liberal about sitting guys nowadays, so at least at first I can see everybody’s playing time taking a hit as they figure out who can contribute in what capacity.

5. What kind of production are you expecting out of Chase Utley?
Slowly progressing catastrophic mayhem. Its nice to have 20 games with sub-.500 teams for him to feast on while he recovers.

6. The Phillies are tied for 19th in the majors with a .314 OBP. Is this a cause for concern?
Yes. Everything is cause for concern. When its not pitching depth, its baserunning errors! When people forget about that, its our offense (people love the word “anemic!”) Raul Ibanez is too old! Dom Brown is too young! Ryan Madson can’t close! Chase Utley isn’t 100%! Shane Victorino is hurt! The Phanatic was caught devouring live raccoons behind the stadium!

For a team in first place with the best record in the NL, we have, like 10 teams’ worth of problems! Almost seems like some of these problems are born from the bowels of message boards and turned into panic button-Bleacher Report articles. People always try to poke holes in what they hate to see.

Hmm.

I seem to have answered a question you did not ask.

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Tags: Ben Berkon Justin Klugh Mets Phillies Philadelphia Philadelphia Phillies Phillies Phils Rising Apple Series Six-Pack That Balls Outta Here Words From Across The Aisle

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